My therapist doesn’t have a sofa


Life is pretty amazing when you participate actively. When you pay attention to the signs and learn all the lessons the universe puts before you, it’s a wondrous thing.

I’ve gone through ALOT of changes in 2016. The majority of them good, a few not so good. Most recently I had a life changing event that I’m still not ready to talk about. If you have been reading my blogs, you know I try to display 100% tranparency but this one I need to work out a little bit before I’m ready to share. 

Because of all the changes I have experienced this year including turning 45, I decided to start seeing a therapist again. Mainly because I need to maneuver through all the bs and figure out what’s holding me back from being my best self ever. I plan to move abroad in 5 years and when I make the move, the only baggage I want to be carrying is the one containing my clothes. 

As a depression survivor, I understand the importance of mental health and the importance of asking for help. So, I’m doing that. I had my first session last week and I learned 3 very interesting things. 1. My therapist doesn’t have a sofa. I thought that was funny. When I went to therapy years ago and even most recently in family therapy, the therapist had a sofa for you to kick back on and ponder the woes of the world. Not this one. There was a cozy leather chair that faced my therapist so that we could make eye contact during my visit. 2. I am not in touch with the emotion of anger. I don’t have a relationship with it. I don’t even process it. I just kind of tuck it away hoping it will evaporate. She advised me that this is not a good thing. That anger is a necessary emotion and I have to develop a healthy way of dealing with it. That was wow moment. Perhaps I’ve never had a great example of anger so I view it as a bad thing. 3. I don’t give myself enough credit for my accomplishments. I create goals, smash them, then move on to the next thing. She let me know I should celebrate my achievements as a way of expressing gratitude for getting the job done. I even have homework. I have to celebrate the fact that I maintained a 4.0 GPA this semester while working and doing all the other 365 million things I do in my life. I have to tell her how I’m celebrating as well as how it makes me feel. I have no idea what I’m going to do yet. 

I know there is definitely a lot of work to be done. I need to figure out where I am, where I want to be and why I got where I am emotionally. I’m more than willing to do the work. What about you? What’s your experience with therapy? Are you looking for a therapist? I would be happy to share the info for mine. 

If you liked this post and think it would benefit someone, share the love. Thanks for reading! You can reach me via social media as well. Tinesha Matthews on both Facebook and IG. #spreadlove 

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