I’ve gone through ALOT of changes in 2016. The majority of them good, a few not so good. Most recently I had a life changing event that I’m still not ready to talk about. If you have been reading my blogs, you know I try to display 100% tranparency but this one I need to work out a little bit before I’m ready to share.
Because of all the changes I have experienced this year including turning 45, I decided to start seeing a therapist again. Mainly because I need to maneuver through all the bs and figure out what’s holding me back from being my best self ever. I plan to move abroad in 5 years and when I make the move, the only baggage I want to be carrying is the one containing my clothes.
As a depression survivor, I understand the importance of mental health and the importance of asking for help. So, I’m doing that. I had my first session last week and I learned 3 very interesting things. 1. My therapist doesn’t have a sofa. I thought that was funny. When I went to therapy years ago and even most recently in family therapy, the therapist had a sofa for you to kick back on and ponder the woes of the world. Not this one. There was a cozy leather chair that faced my therapist so that we could make eye contact during my visit. 2. I am not in touch with the emotion of anger. I don’t have a relationship with it. I don’t even process it. I just kind of tuck it away hoping it will evaporate. She advised me that this is not a good thing. That anger is a necessary emotion and I have to develop a healthy way of dealing with it. That was wow moment. Perhaps I’ve never had a great example of anger so I view it as a bad thing. 3. I don’t give myself enough credit for my accomplishments. I create goals, smash them, then move on to the next thing. She let me know I should celebrate my achievements as a way of expressing gratitude for getting the job done. I even have homework. I have to celebrate the fact that I maintained a 4.0 GPA this semester while working and doing all the other 365 million things I do in my life. I have to tell her how I’m celebrating as well as how it makes me feel. I have no idea what I’m going to do yet.
I know there is definitely a lot of work to be done. I need to figure out where I am, where I want to be and why I got where I am emotionally. I’m more than willing to do the work. What about you? What’s your experience with therapy? Are you looking for a therapist? I would be happy to share the info for mine.
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